(12:31:24 AM) serge: my dick is like shane lessa in high school
(12:31:29 AM) mel: o ya?
(12:31:30 AM) mel: how so
(12:31:31 AM) serge: long
(12:31:31 AM) serge: thin
(12:31:33 AM) serge: and uncut
(12:31:36 AM) mel: XFD

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

we've kinda run out of shane/meth-isms.

not feelin too creative lately. soon though.

happy august, btw.

Your ex-girlfriend dating your closet-homo Japanese roommate after you dump her isn't normal. With Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Getting yelled at by a fat chick for talking too much isn't normal. But with Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

My girlfriend would do anything for me. So I made her buy a Modest Mouse record.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

16 blocks to school isn't normal. But with Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Helping an old man with no money isn't normal. But with Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

No one thinks they'll be putting their clothes back together with safety pins. Shane will change that.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Getting bagels at three in the morning isn't normal. But with Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

My friends and I share everything. Now we share Shane.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

No one thinks they'll wake up here next to David Kresses. Shane will change that.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Ziplining through the woods in drag isn't normal. But with Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

No one thinks they'll lose their virginity at Manhattan Park. Shane will change that.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

No one thinks they'll spend a romantic evening on Avenue D. Shane will change that.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

My sister always looked up to Shane. Even after he made her listen to Animal Collective.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Guy friends that actually care about how their friends are doing and worry about them aren't normal. But with Shane, they are.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Bright blue skinny jeans, skateboards, and mutton chops. Then things really go downhill.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Actually, hanging out with Shane won't make it easier to hook up.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

You'll never worry about Shane on your teeth again.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Plaid shirts being sexy isn't normal. But with Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Playing the building isn't normal. Shane will change that.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.

Getting drunk for $2.50 in New York isn't normal. But with Shane, it is.

SHANE. NOT EVEN ONCE.